Monday, April 6, 2009

Get Off that Phone!

I'm sitting in the library right now trying to study my anatomy while some idiot girl right next to me is having a full blown conversation on her cell phone as if she's the only person in the world. What are people thinking? It's bad enough in any public place to hear someone else's conversation but it's inexcusable in the library. Nobody wants to hear about your life, or the classes you're taking, or your plans for tonight, blah, blah, blah. How can people be so oblivious and self centered?

It's not like I came to the library for some peace and quiet so I could study. No, I came just so I could hear you yakking on your phone all about your life. Argh!!!! This absolutely drives me nuts. Get a clue people! Get up and go somewhere else; I don't want to hear it! I don't care that you miss your husband. I don't care that you have a date tonight. I don't care that your classes are sooo hard. I don't care that you are toootally starving. NOBODY cares! So do us all a favor. Shut up and take it somewhere else.

Friday, April 3, 2009


I’m all in favor of acts of courtesy. In general they make society a better place. However, I’ve had enough of a certain “courtesy”--door holding. I’m a grown man and I don’t need strangers holding the door for me. It’s uncomfortable and a little insulting. Why are you holding the door for me? I’m not your wife.

I suppose the door holder thinks he is helping in some way; however, this act of courtesy is extremely inefficient. Invariably it leads to a log jam at the door because no one is sure if they should walk through the door or let the guy holding the door go through. There is the awkward back and forth of “you go”, “no, you go”, “no, it’s alright, you go”, etc. Then someone finally begins to go through the door but the other person starts at the same time and you’re back to square one. Or the guy holding the door just refuses to move and you’re forced to submit to his act of “courtesy”. I hate this whole interaction and propose that people just open the door for themselves, go through, and let everyone else do the same. If you want to hold the door for your wife, more power to you but if you don’t know me, stop holding the door for me. I’m perfectly capable and you’re slowing me down.


The above statement only pertains to strangers. I’m quite fine with holding the door for my friends or family and don’t mind them doing the same.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Taco Bell Torture

I have a love hate relationship with Taco Bell. I love it because I can get full off the value menu while staying under my self imposed $2 a day lunch limit. And that’s why I hate it. The value menu items are in general pretty disgusting and really mess you up. But I just can’t resist.

In Grad school I would get a Double Decker taco and a hard shell taco for under 2 bucks and it tasted pretty good. Or sometimes I would replace one of the items with a Chili Cheese burrito (The Chili Cheese burrito is not offered at all Taco Bells which is a real shame. I’ve only seen it in Indiana). I ate that meal 3 or 4 times a week because the Taco Bell was only a block from school. I figured that once I was done with Grad school and had a job I could get off the Taco Bell lunch. But while working at Dell, Taco Bell came out with a half pound Beef Combo burrito for 1.29 which was a fabulous deal and just too good to pass up. And it tasted pretty good too once you added 3 packets of Fire sauce. I would usually get this and a hard shell taco which put me a little over 2 bucks but since I was employed I justified it. Then in May of this year Taco Bell introduced a new value menu that was even cheaper…and more disgusting. I didn’t think they could get any cheaper but they managed.

Initially I was pretty excited by this new menu and was especially intrigued by the 89 cent Cheesy Double Beef burrito. I figured it would be small but it turned out to be pretty hefty and was filled with rice, beef, and a Cheese Whiz like sauce. I quickly realized that this was far and away the best value on the menu. It weighed more than the other items and was cheaper. So now I could get two Cheesy Double Beef burritos for less than 2 bucks and the combined weight would be more than the half pound Beef Combo burrito and hard shell taco I had been eating. Once I realized I could get more food for less money I was hooked and I haven’t been able to stop since. Sure I’d like to have a Triple Steak burrito or any other number of items but I just can’t do it. That 89 cent Cheesy Double Beef burrito draws me in like the Siren’s song. Every day I stand in line scanning the menu looking for a better deal and trying to convince myself that I should order something different. And yet as soon as I get to the cashier my cheap skate instincts take over and I robotically say, “I’ll have two Cheesy Double Beef burritos.” I’m powerless in the face of such a great value.

I eat this same meal every day I’m down at BYU which is four days a week. I get 4 packets of fire sauce for each burrito and then open up the burrito, add the fire sauce and mix everything together since they have a tendency to put all the beef, rice, and cheese in separate sections. Once the burrito is open it looks like someone barfed inside a tortilla. I’m always self conscious that everyone walking by in the Cougar Eat is looking at me thinking “How could someone eat that garbage.” Anyway, I don’t see this pattern changing any time soon since I won’t be gainfully employed for at least another 4 ½ years. My only hope is that Taco Bell revamps their value menu. Or maybe wherever I go to dental school won’t have a Taco Bell close enough for lunch. But I sure hope there is one close because it’s awfully nice to fill up for under 2 bucks.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Things That I Love

Lest you all think I'm a negativist, I decided to create a list of things that I love. Again, they're in no particular order.

1. Hoosiers--I can watch this movie over and over and never get tired of it. The scenery is gorgeous and they got the feeling and emotion of small town Indiana basketball spot on. I'm getting giddy just writing about it.

2. Apple Dumplings--This is one of my favorite desserts and one of the best things about Fall. A warm apple dumpling in a bowl of milk is one special treat. This is one of the reasons I really didn't like Texas. There were no fresh apples which meant no apple dumplings.

3. Grilling--Everything tastes better on the grill. You could grill old sneakers and they'd probably taste good. It's impossible to get that smokey flavor any other way and it's one of the best things about Summer.

4. Seinfeld--This is the best TV show ever, sin duda. Every episode makes me laugh and is a real joy. On a more depressing note, Seinfeld first aired in July 1989 which means that college Freshman this year weren't even alive! Man I feel old.

5. Cold Cereal--As a kid I didn't get a lot of cold cereal and especially the sugary stuff so I think that's why I like it so much now. My favorites are Peanut Butter Captain Crunch and Cinnamon Toast Crunch. As a Sophomore in college cold cereal was the staple of my diet. And as a diet, it's pretty effective. I lost like 20 pounds that year.

6. A Campfire--Sitting around a campfire is one of life's finest pleasures. The smell of the smoke, the warmth, and the crackle of the fire are all intoxicating.

7. Documentaries--Yeah I know it's nerdy but I really love a good documentary. The Science channel, History channel, and Discovery channel usually have the best ones although my favorite documentary was on PBS and dealt with String Theory. It blew my mind.

8. Rhubarb Pie--I really like almost any pie but Rhubarb is my favorite. The tart deliciousness is one of Spring's special treats.

9. Uruguay--I love everything about Uruguay. The asados and chorizos are to die for. The milanesas and empanadas are wonderful. The country abounds with beautiful beaches. The weather is spectacular and the people are incredible.

10. Fall--This is my favorite season. The smell, colors, and feel of Fall are unlike any other time of the year. With Fall comes the beautiful changing leaves, cool mornings and evenings, abundant sunshine, apple cider, sweatshirts, the first snow in the mountains and so much more. I never want to live somewhere again that doesn't have Fall.

11. Peaches--I'd forgotten how good fresh peaches are after living in Texas. I've bought quite a few here in Utah though and they've been delicious. They're so sweet and juicy and make wonderful pies. God truly blessed us when he gave us peaches. In my book no fruit is as good as a peach.

12. Fishing--I'm crazy about fishing. At times it consumes me. I'm constantly dreaming about fishing vacations and all the cool places I could go. I most want to go to Mexico, Alaska, and The Boundary Waters. I'm even willing to put up with another 5 years of school so I can hopefully have more time in the future to go fishing.

13. A Hot Shower after being Cold and Wet--After a long day outdoors in a cold rain, it's the best feeling in the world.

14. Oyster Soup--On the Staller side of the family we have oyster soup every Thanksgiving and Christmas. It's definitely the best food that I eat all year. The smell and taste are so unique and it warms my soul every time. I look forward to this more than anything else.

15. College Football--I love spending my Saturdays watching college football. It's been especially great this year because I've been able to go to the BYU football games. The season is the perfect length and always leaves me wanting more. The system for determining a champion is screwed up but it does make every game ultra important which adds to the excitement.

16. Rabbit Hunting--As a kid I spent many days in the woods hunting rabbits with my grandpa and these are some of my fondest memories. I just love going out after a fresh snow and busting through thickets and jumping brushpiles. You never know when a rabbit will take off and the shooting can be a lot of fun. They taste pretty darn good too.

17. A River Runs Through It--Both the movie and the book are classics in my opinion. The themes along with the scenery are intriguing and beautiful. The book is especially good because there are some great short stories included at the end, Logging, Pimping, and my Pal Jim being my favorite.

18. My Grandma's Gravy--I don't know just how she does it but it's my favorite. She makes it from the drippings of whatever she has fried and it is so rich and delicious. I especially like it on her sweet potatoes.

19. Morels--These are wild mushrooms that can be found in many parts of the U.S. I grew up hunting for them in the woods and eating them every Spring. My uncle George is great at finding them and usually found enough to share with the whole family. We would all get together and eat fried mushrooms and stewed rhubarb. It really doesn't get much better. I lucked into some morels this year in Utah while fishing and was delighted. I hadn't eaten any for years so it was a very nice treat.

20. My Wife--She's getting ready to have twins in about a week and a half. She's been a real trooper through the whole thing and I'm amazed at how well she's handled it. I hope these two little boys are appreciative.

I'm Not an Addict (Maybe That's a Lie)

Recently one of my old addictions has reared it's ugly head. No it's not drugs. It's Tetris. In college I got addicted to the point that my friend hid Tetris on his computer so I couldn't find it. I guess I was spending just a little too much time hogging his computer. Anyway, I just recently found and the addiction has returned. The attached picture is of my best game yet. Start on level 10 and see if you can beat me. But beware, you may get addicted too.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Things I Hate

Now that the DAT and Organic Chemistry are finally over I can get back to doing some blogging. Lately, or maybe always, a lot of things have been bugging me so I decided to make a list of things I hate in no particular order. I'll probably update it every month or so because I'm certain I'll find more things. So here we go.

1. Chick-Fil-A--I can't stand this rotten place. I really hate everything about it. Their signature sandwich is a stinking piece of chicken with pickles. No lettuce, no cheese, no tomatoes, no onions. Just pickles. Are you kidding me? And if you want it as a combo with soggy waffle fries it's gonna cost you 5 bucks. If I wanted soggy waffle fries I'd go to the high school cafeteria. I have no idea why anyone eats at this place; I'll stick with 99 cent double cheeseburgers and 89 cent cheesy double beef burritos, thank you very much.

2. Dudes Wearing Capri Pants--WTH? I mean the first time I saw this I thought is that guy really wearing capris? What could ever possess a man to put on a pair of capris? You might as well wear a skirt and change your name to Nancy. I guess it's no surprise Ashton Kutcher is wearing them. It's pretty much what you'd expect from him. Let's just hope it doesn't become as popular as the trucker hat. And on a side note, I'm certain that everyone in Iowa where Ashton is from hates him. I know Midwestern people and they don't tolerate men in capris.

3. Myself at Age 13--I can't think of anything worse than having to be 13 all over again. What a miserable time of life. The constant worries of am I gonna get beat up, being humiliated in sports that I sucked at, awkward school dances, getting dumped on my birthday, and on and on and on. The only people who enjoy being 13 are Chinese gymnasts.

4. Stupidity--I find stupidity in all its forms insufferable. There is nothing more obnoxious than a truly stupid person except for someone pretending to be stupid, i.e. Jessica Simpson or Paris Hilton. Although with those two, I'm not sure it's an act. God gave you a brain; use it people!

5. Red Robin--This is another restaurant that I can't stand. They have gourmet in their name which is complete farce. At least they serve burgers but they don't compare to their competition at all. I can go to Outback and get an excellent fresh hamburger with a baked sweet potato and warm bread for 8 bucks or I can go to Red Robin and spend 10 bucks for a factory stamped, assembly line, previously frozen disk of meat passed off as a hamburger. And if that wasn't bad enough, they try to sell you on the idea that you're getting some kind of value because you get all the mushy steak fries you can eat. Thanks but I'll pass.

6. The University of Utah--This was a hatred that developed later in life. I didn't even know the U of U existed until I was a Freshman at BYU. But once I got to BYU, I developed a hatred for everything related to the U of U. As a kid I thought I hated Purdue. I say thought because now that I hate the U of U, I know what it means to hate another school. I disdained Purdue; I vehemently abhor all things U of U.

7. Stuff on My Fingers--Whenever I eat chips or anything with my fingers it drives me crazy to still have stuff on them. I'm constantly trying to flick it off. Cheetos are the worst offenders but I still keep eating them.

8. Uneven Fingernails--This is a fairly recent neurosis that I've developed. If my thumbnails or index finger nails aren't perfectly smooth I need a nail file right away or I go a little nutty.

9. Reading the Paper--I was reading the Daily Universe the other day and thought to myself I hate this. You have to flip between different pages just to read one article and then you have to go back to start another article and then part of the paper falls out and then you try to fold it to make it more manageable but then you can't figure out where you started from. I hate the whole experience. It's all just so cumbersome and inefficient. And it gets ink all over my fingers which goes back my #7 of things I hate.

10. Country Music--I can't stand this inane garbage. It absolutely revels in stupidity and ignorance which goes back to my number #4 of things I hate. I'm convinced that any two bit hillbilly with an ounce of musical talent could be a country singer and if they can't make it as a singer, I'm sure their 3rd grade education and vocabulary would be more than sufficient to be a country music writer.

11. Soft Rock--This subject has already been treated extensively on this blog and suffice it to say my opinions haven't changed.

12. Sean Hannity--I made the mistake of tuning in to KSL the other day and listening to Sean Hannity. In less than five minutes I was ready to reach through the radio to strangle the life out of him. I'm certain that I share some of his views but he's such a smug, arrogant, pompous ass that it literally makes me ill to hear him.

13. Waking Up When It's Dark--When it's dark out, I just feel like I should still be in bed. And I hate that feeling of shock when you turn the lights on and your body revolts and screams GO BACK TO BED!

14. Whoopi Goldberg--How can someone as talentless and obnoxious as Whoopi be on TV? It's mind boggling. At least she's an inspiration. If Whoopi can be on TV, I guess anything really is possible.

15. The Medieval Club--What in the world would possess someone to dress up and re-enact the most wretched time period in all of history. Did they conveniently forget about peasantry, garbage and human waste filling the streets, a complete lack of personal hygiene, and the Black Plague! Come to think of it, the complete lack of personal hygiene, may actually be embraced by most members of the club. Put down your fake swords and goofy outfits and do something productive. Heck, you could even do nothing and that would be better than being in the medieval club.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

A School Bus Tale

As a kid, I rarely caused any trouble outside of home. I was a smarty pants; my teachers liked me, and I was never really interested in deviant behavior. I got a detention in 6th grade for not doing my homework but that was about the worst thing I did. However, the hour before and after school spent on the school bus was a completely different story. It was like the Wild West…anything went, and I was often the instigator, or at a minimum, an active participant. At school I spent most of my time with other “good” kids, but on the bus there’s no chance for separation. Everyone is thrown together in one big melting pot. There are boys, girls, elementary, middle, and high school kids, the Amish, white trash, cool kids, nerds, rednecks, brothers and sisters, Christa Schipper ( Oh yeah!), farmers, the handicapped, and a bus driver who hates her life. I’m not certain the bus driver hated her life, but considering she had to drive around the aforementioned lot twice a day, I’d say it’s a given. So it was in this environment that the worst of me came out.

They say prison is often like school for criminals. Well the bus was kind of like that. We were always scheming to come up with something to top the last thing we did. One time a kid made blow darts out of needles and a straw. You never knew when you would get shot. Even the Amish joined in and would occasionally stick someone with a hat pin. I remember tying fishing line to my alarm clock and dragging it behind the bus. That was fun for awhile but quickly lost its appeal. Once we decided to pit two elementary school boys against each other. We convinced the one boy to spit in the face of the other and then convinced the other boy that he couldn’t be disrespected like that. We knew it would lead to a fight, and sure enough, when they got off the bus, at the trailer park no less, we were treated to a show of them duking it out. Another time we convinced a kid to stand up on his seat and play the air guitar while the bus was going down the highway. The bus driver was furious. She stopped the bus, made the kid stand on her seat up front, and play the air guitar for everyone. I’m sure it was humiliating for him, but we thought it was hilarious. Also, were you aware that if you open your bus window and spit, it will fly back in through an open window two seats back? We were; it’s a marvel of bus physics that works every time. But none of this stuff compared to our biggest stunt.

Like all boys I enjoyed fire. I wasn’t a pyromaniac or anything, but fire fascinated me. It’s just part of being a boy. I was never one to play with fire, but one day in gym class a kid sprayed a puddle of his aerosol deodorant on his locker, shut the lights out, and then lit it on fire. It was a pretty cool display and there was no smoke or damage done to the locker either. My friend Derek and I were impressed, and we decided this would be cool to try on the bus. So the next day I brought the matches and Derek brought the Right Guard; we determined to start a fire on the ride home that afternoon. We waited until nearly everyone was dropped off that way there would be fewer witnesses. We huddled in a seat toward the back of the bus, sprayed a bunch of Right Guard on the floor of the bus, and lit it.

It went off without a hitch. No smoke, no damage to the bus, and completely out of sight of the bus driver. It was a nice cool controlled blue flame. We thought we were pretty cool. We were starting fires on the bus and nobody knew anything about it! It became our little trick that we did often after that day.

Then one day Derek sat next to me and said, “Dude, I’ve got some model glue at home that says ‘Highly Flammable’”. I instantly replied, “Bring it in man; let’s start it on fire.” The Right Guard was getting a little boring and it was time to try something new.

The next day Derek brought the glue; I couldn’t wait to start this stuff on fire. Instead of waiting until the bus was empty like usual, I wanted to start the fire while the bus was still loading in the parking lot. Derek acquiesced and squirted a glob of the glue on the bus floor. I pulled out my matches and lit the glue. It was highly flammable alright! But instead of a nice cool controlled blue flame it produced instant black smoke. We stomped it out immediately, but it was too late. The bus driver knew something was wrong. I quickly gave the matches to Derek to hide and braced myself for the bus driver’s wrath. She stormed to the back of the bus and demanded to know if we had started a fire. I lied. Not just a little lie either, but a big fat fib. I said, “We didn’t start a fire. That would be crazy. There’s no way we would do something so stupid.” Then some little kid pointed at me and said, “That boy has matches.” At this point I took the lie to the next level. I stood up from my seat and pulled out my pockets to show they were empty and said, “Martha, do you think I would have matches on the bus? There’s no way I would do that. That’s totally crazy. I’d be in a ton of trouble if I had matches on the bus.” At this point Martha said something about not really believing us, but since she didn’t see any evidence of a fire, she wasn’t going to do anything. As she left we threatened the little kid that knarked on us with bodily harm if he ever ratted us out like that again, but we felt confident the whole thing was behind us. We were relieved to have escaped the situation unscathed.

Unfortunately we weren’t going to get off so easy. My sister’s friend and I’m pretty sure my sister too ratted us out later. Derek and I caught wind of the fact and knew we were in some serious trouble. I mean we had started a fire on the bus and totally lied about it. This was serious. So we started to scramble and tried to think how we could squirm out of this. It seemed hopeless until one of us came up with the idea to go see the Guidance Counselor. In my middle school, the Guidance Counselor was little more than an unqualified shrink that screwed up kids boo hooed to about all their issues. We had seen other kids go cry to the Guidance Counselor about their problems and get away with stuff so we figured we’d give it a try. We decided to tell her that we were in some way mentally impaired and had started the fire as a way to express our rage and anger toward our bus driver. We figured that if she bought the story and thought we were crazy maybe we’d get away with this.

While in gym class, Derek and I told our teacher that we needed to go see the Guidance Counselor. He stared at us and said, “What in the world do you two need to go see the guidance counselor for?” We refused to tell him and just said it was personal. I’m sure he thought we were a couple of flamers or something, but he let us go.

The Guidance Counselor ushered us into her office and inquired what the matter was. At this point we spilled the beans. We told her our bus driver was mean and nasty and that we couldn’t stand her. That she singled us out and made our lives miserable. We just couldn’t take it any longer and finally our rage bubbled over and was expressed by the fire we started.

We were hoping for sympathy and compassion; instead, as soon as we finished our story, the Guidance Counselor began to take us step by step through the process of expulsion. All the way down to what the judge would say, what the court room would look like, and what would be required of us. At this point, I remember thinking, “Oh, #@*&! I’m in serious trouble.” She sent us back to our class terrified of what would come next. We thought for a moment maybe there was some kind of Guidance Counselor-Student privilege thing and that she wouldn’t tell anyone. We knew it wasn’t true, but we hoped. We spent the rest of the day just waiting for the hammer to drop. We made it to our very last class of the day and then were called to the Principal’s office. What dread!

As we walked to the office, Derek said to just deny everything, never admit to anything. That was our only hope. We were ushered into the Principal’s office and there was our bus driver, her boss, and the Principal. Derek strolled in with a popsicle in his mouth and the Principal snapped at him, “Get that popsicle out of your mouth!” Then we were told to sit down and our principal asked, “Do you boys know why you’re here?” I’d decided to let Derek do all the talking. I knew I would cave. Derek responded and said he had no idea why he was there. The Principal wasn’t too happy and began to tell us that he knew all about the fire we had started on the bus and that we were in serious trouble. Then Derek with his cocky attitude said, “What fire? I don’t know anything about any fire.” The Principal lost it at this point. He jumped up out of his chair, slammed both hands onto his desk, and shouted, “Don’t make me come across this desk and slam dunk you. If you don’t tell me about the fire right now, I’m gonna jump across this desk and take you to the mat.” I was scared, and I guess Derek was too because he responded sheepishly, “Maybe there was a little fire.” So there it was. No more denying. We were had.

At this point I was expecting to get expelled or at best suspended. Our bus driver started to yell at us about how mad she was that we lied to her. Then her boss yelled at us for endangering a bus load of kids and told us that the seats on the bus create a toxic killer smoke if they catch on fire. (If that’s true, that’s a real hazard!) Finally our Principal yelled at us about being irresponsible and reckless and how disappointed he was in us. I knew the punishment was coming any minute now. How was I going to explain this to my parents? I thought “My mother’s going to kill me!” And just as I was waiting to hear my fate, the Principal told us to get out of his office and go back to class.

What? Just leave? No expulsion? You’re not calling my mother? Not even a detention? You mean if I don’t turn in my homework I get a detention, but if I start a fire on the bus, there’s no punishment? What’s going on here? To this day, I still have no idea how I got away with this.

That was the end of my fire starting days. Even though I didn’t get punished, I was scared straight! I had stared into the abyss, and I wanted no more.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Scientific Breakthrough?

Maybe human cloning has occurred?

You be the judge.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

If I was a Communist Dictator….

1. Britney Spears, P-Diddy, Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie, Missy Elliott, Snoop Dogg, Lil John, Lindsay Lohan and people of their ilk would be loaded onto a bus and driven off a cliff

2. The obnoxious kiosk sales people at the mall would not be allowed to accost you as you try to shop

3. Mimes and clowns would be banned—they creep me out

4. Anybody who let their dog poop in my yard would get their nose rubbed in it

5. Rachel Ray would be a mute

6. The police would work on real crimes (robbery, assault, murder, etc.) and not worry about me speeding

7. All shopping malls would be razed and sporting goods stores built in their place

8. Anyone associated with soft rock in any way would be sent to a gulag. This includes family. There can be no exceptions

9. Arrested Development would immediately be back on TV and continue in perpetuity

10. I would never register my car, get an inspection, pay my taxes, wait at the DMV or deal with government bureaucracy in any other way

Thursday, December 6, 2007

More Reality TV Cry Babies!

It's been awhile since I've blogged so I figured I'd whip something out. I've got a wonderful blog all written and ready to post but Jocelyn keeps telling me to not post it because it's inappropriate. Stay tuned to see who wins this struggle of wills!

Anyway, tonight I was watching Survivor with Jocelyn while taking a studying break and it happened to be the episode where the family members show up to participate in one of the challenges. Like everything with Survivor this is a predictably lame stunt that happens every season. And you can always count on the fact that these people will cry like they've just been reunited with a POW that everyone thought was dead when in fact they've only been separated 30 days! I just don't get it. Where do they find these emotional wimps? I keep in touch with my family but there have been times where a month has gone by without speaking to them and I certainly didn't break down into unintelligible sobbing when we finally talked. Every time I see this episode I think to myself, "These people would have made terrible missionaries." I'll be heading home to Indiana in a few weeks for Christmas and am really excited but don't expect any tears.


Check out my Yahoo radio station. You'll love it.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Trick Play

Adam Smith long ago postulated that each man competing against the other pursuing his own self interest would in the end serve the greater good of society and that the “invisible hand” of competition would regulate free markets creating unprecedented wealth. In general the ideas of Adam Smith are universally accepted in the Western world and today competition represents the underpinnings or our capitalistic society. It permeates everything we do and shapes the way we interact with others and perceive the world. In general I buy into Adam Smith’s ideas and am ammenable to competition. But as ususal too much of a good thing is, well you know.

From a very early age we put our kids in tee-ball, pee wee football, soccer, etc. Lessons on competition and winning are taught in these venues and often the lessons are fairly disturbing. Parents and coaches seem to take this stuff much more seriously than the kids and winning is many times the one and only object. For me this winning at all costs mentality has gone too far as evidenced by this video.

Whatever happened to winning the right way and respecting your opponent? At this age, kids should be playing to learn the fundamentals and enjoy the game. Instead they’re being taught to punk the other side with cheap tricks and to bend and distort the rules to their benefit all in the name of winning.

Winning is a lot of fun and can feel great, but doing it in this manner strips away the pleasure. And honestly, as a coach, what joy can you derive by duping a bunch of dumb little kids with a second rate trick. Are you gonna go brag to your buddies all about how you beat a bunch of kids with a lame trick play? If you’re so obsessed with winning, maybe you should pull an Andy Kaufman and start wrestling women. On second thought, there’s some tough ladies out there. Let’s make it little girls. Then you’ll always be a winner.

What a joke.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Mmmm Pets!

So I read these two articles the other day and here are my thoughts:

1. Kind of ironic that there is no shortage of money when it’s time to buy guns to propagate genocide across Africa but not enough money for food.

2. Good on em for eating their pets. I appreciate resourceful people.

3. Eating your pets is certainly nobler than asking for a handout or letting your children starve.

4. I’d do it.

5.I really like meat. If I was starving and had no meat…watch out pets

6. It was nice to see that the SPCA realized this was a true moral dilemma. If they had interviewed the PETA people, I’m sure they would have railed against the people of Zimbabwe for eating their pets.

7. All you can eat contests are the height of gluttony and a slap in the face to the truly hungry.

8. I’d eat well if I was homeless. I wouldn’t just be warming my hands over that trash can fire. I’d be grilling up some pigeon, squirrel, stray cat, etc.

9. The duck guy should go to jail for stealing but not animal cruelty. Where do you think the phrase “wringing someone’s neck” came from? If this requires jail time, then I guess our ancestors were degenerates that should have spent their lives in jail.

10. How is living in a hotel lobby pond unsafe? It’s heated in the winter and air conditioned in the summer. You get fed every day. And you don’t ever have to worry about being eaten alive by a coyote. Watch out for hungry drunks though!