I’m sitting on a plane traveling back to Austin from San Jose and have a few thoughts running through my head.
1. Silicon Valley is nice but gimme a break—million dollar 1500 sq. ft. ranch homes?—it’s not that nice.
2. I like driving rental cars. It’s like being 16 all over again. You get to hammer the gas, make sharp turns, drive too fast, squeal the tires, blast the speakers and not feel bad because, hey, it’s a rental. And the Impala I had this week was about a million times faster than my gutless Civic.
3. The stale fart smell on this plane is really disgusting. There is a bathroom you know. I can’t complain too much though because I’ve been known to contribute myself.
4. I eat like a pig when I travel for work. It’s all expensed so I go overboard. On a normal day I eat soup for lunch, have dinner and then open the pantry about a hundred times after dinner looking for something else to eat but don’t really eat anything because there is no food I want in the pantry which is by design because if there was I’d eat all night.
Here’s my food log from this week’s travels: Tuesday Dinner I—I had a huge Amy’s Ice Cream waffle cone before getting on the plane Dinner II—ate an overpriced meal at the hotel of soup, calamari, and tuna. None of it was very good either. Hotel food generally sucks since they know they have you trapped there. I’ve had better soup from the cafeteria at work.
Wednesday Breakfast--Big chocolate pastry, large hot chocolate from the coffee shop below where I was working Lunch--Pot pie and smoothie 5pm Snack--Salami, pepperoni, prosciutto, cheese, and crackers at the hotel—this was really delicious and could have sufficed for my dinner. Dinner--20oz porterhouse at Outback with sweet potato—I felt disgusting as I walked out. I thought of my “vegan” mother in law.
Thursday Breakfast—took it easy and just had a banana and some strawberries Lunch—made up for breakfast and had a big hot pastrami sandwich with potato chips and Dr. Pepper—quite tasty Dinner—Spare ribs appetizer, pan seared red snapper w/ asparagus and cous cous, and ice cream with ganache at Trader Vics in downtown San Francisco. This was a really good meal and surprisingly affordable—much better than Outback
Friday Breakfast I—Pepsi and granola bar in my room before leaving for the airport Breakfast II—Cinnabon with candied pecans and caramel sauce and a peach smoothie. The Cinnabon smells so damn good it’s impossible to pass up. Unless I have to pay for it of course. Then I have all kinds of self control. Just ask Jocelyn. As you can see, if I were to do much traveling, I’d be well on my way to an early heart attack.
5. The stale fart smell is back—not good
6. The Hyatt Regency in Santa Clara is really overpriced but they do have really good meat, cheese and crackers—I could go for some more of that right now.
7. Why do the cheap hotels have free internet access and the expensive ones want you to pay for it?
8. Dell makes billions of dollars so why do I feel guilty about spending so much on travel? ( I stayed within all company guidelines) I think it’s because I have no concept of billions of dollars. If I did I probably would have spent even more!
9. Seinfeld was right. Once you’ve had 1st Class you can’t go back. I go crazy all cramped up in the tiny coach seats. I feel like the little kid in the 6th Sense when he gets locked in that attic room and freaks out. Minus the dead people of course. The Exit row is great though and luckily that’s where I’m sitting.
10. Happy Birthday Jocelyn! Now that you’re 30, I think it’s appropriate to refer to you as my old lady. What do you think?