Thursday, December 20, 2007

If I was a Communist Dictator….

1. Britney Spears, P-Diddy, Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie, Missy Elliott, Snoop Dogg, Lil John, Lindsay Lohan and people of their ilk would be loaded onto a bus and driven off a cliff

2. The obnoxious kiosk sales people at the mall would not be allowed to accost you as you try to shop

3. Mimes and clowns would be banned—they creep me out

4. Anybody who let their dog poop in my yard would get their nose rubbed in it

5. Rachel Ray would be a mute

6. The police would work on real crimes (robbery, assault, murder, etc.) and not worry about me speeding

7. All shopping malls would be razed and sporting goods stores built in their place

8. Anyone associated with soft rock in any way would be sent to a gulag. This includes family. There can be no exceptions

9. Arrested Development would immediately be back on TV and continue in perpetuity

10. I would never register my car, get an inspection, pay my taxes, wait at the DMV or deal with government bureaucracy in any other way

Thursday, December 6, 2007

More Reality TV Cry Babies!

It's been awhile since I've blogged so I figured I'd whip something out. I've got a wonderful blog all written and ready to post but Jocelyn keeps telling me to not post it because it's inappropriate. Stay tuned to see who wins this struggle of wills!

Anyway, tonight I was watching Survivor with Jocelyn while taking a studying break and it happened to be the episode where the family members show up to participate in one of the challenges. Like everything with Survivor this is a predictably lame stunt that happens every season. And you can always count on the fact that these people will cry like they've just been reunited with a POW that everyone thought was dead when in fact they've only been separated 30 days! I just don't get it. Where do they find these emotional wimps? I keep in touch with my family but there have been times where a month has gone by without speaking to them and I certainly didn't break down into unintelligible sobbing when we finally talked. Every time I see this episode I think to myself, "These people would have made terrible missionaries." I'll be heading home to Indiana in a few weeks for Christmas and am really excited but don't expect any tears.


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