Dear Gwen,Please come back. You’re better than this. There’s no need to prostitute yourself. There’s plenty of hip hop whores as it is. I was willing to forgive your first indiscretion (it’s been hard to forget though). I pretended it never happened. But then you went and did this.
It’s like I don’t even know you anymore. What happened to my beautiful talented 1996 Gwen? You were a revelation to me. Your bright red lipstick and funky attitude made me swoon. Look at yourself now. It’s as if you’ve gone brain dead.
I’m bewildered by the new you. Imagine Gandhi becoming a terrorist, Whitney Houston laying off the crack, or Dick Cheney turning into a caring man. All preposterous scenarios. Just like this little hip hop foray of yours.
Maybe you just need to get away from it all. Get out of Hollywood and get back to the real Gwen. A little time away could do wonders. I’ve got a spare bedroom here in Texas. You’re welcome to it. My wife won’t mind. I promise. Anything to help you get back on track.
You’re too talented to throw it all away like this. I don’t want to give up on you, but I just can’t handle another misguided hip hop album. So please come back to your senses.
Desperately awaiting your reformation,
Ben
Disclaimer:
The above post is a blatant rip off of a concept often seen on the Shrff’s blog.
3 comments:
thank you, thank you. i am glad you are at it again...you're killing me ben. you need to daily blog, the world according to ben. sorry dude though, i never did like the old gwen or new gwen. although i do like her red lipstick.
This was good times. Let the revolution begin!
Oh Ben....your blogs enlighten me...I was needing a good laugh and well this particular blog did it for me thanks. love ya
whit
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